Blood, Sex and Tears and crazy making families

Are you as happy as you want to be? Are you maybe hampered by poor self-image or feelings of failure. Have you thought about your parenting skills or those of the people who raised you? Why does the problem of poor parenting perpetuate poorer and often worse parenting?  Why do a large percentage of children endure sexual and physical abuse or worse yet neglect? This blog is not about blaming or pointing fingers. It's about facing the reality of what sometimes happens in families where there is addiction or mental illness. It's really hard to have any measure of self-esteem if the parent's responsible for you do not treat you with dignity and respect and when their self-esteem is sorely lacking.

Most people, when they talk about the parenting they received, either do it with anger and resentment or breezily dismiss any bad memories they have by saying "They did the best they could." Admittedly most parents do the best they can. Some times their best is not good enough.  Anxiety and depression are often the results of less than adequate parenting and a large percentage of the American public takes anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds. If your not doing it, you know someone who is.

Life too short and too valuable to live with the pain of depression or anxiety. There are many methods available to give hope and new life to anyone who is willing to walk the walk. You must be willing to explore the reality of where you came from. Not a task for sissies. If you do it you will eventually find that the problem is not you. The problem is what happened to you and what you told yourself about it at the time.

Many adults who have had traumatic childhoods suffer from PTSD and complicated grief which often gets misdiagnosed as something other than it is. Children who suffer from trauma related emotional problems often get mislabeled as oppositional defiant. They are ostracized and punished by teachers and society.

Family Systems developed by the late great Virginia Satir proved to be the best way to heal memories, relationships, and self-esteem.    

Your questions and comments are most welcome and will be answered in the next blog.



Blood, Sex and Tears and traumatic memories


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Friday, 12 August 2022

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